The best exercise? Walking. February 27, 2014

While meeting with a client yesterday, we started talking about weight loss. She hadn’t seen me since just before Xmas, so she could tell I have been losing weight. Every woman seems to have this frustration! She mentioned losing 7 pounds and wanting to start exercising more. When I asked what she did, she mentioned walking, but wanted to add something else.

Guess what? Walking is one of the BEST exercises out there! And when you think about it, that’s pretty easy. Have a dog? Take it for a walk. Live near the grocery store? Grab a canvas bag and pick up a few things. I walk to a couple in my neighborhood, even if I buy only 2 things. It gives me an excuse to get off my butt!

I also downloaded apps for keeping track of my exercise. My favorite is MapMyWalk. (I also use MapMyHike.) It logs how far, inclines, calories, speed, and much more. It’s good to see that I’ve actually DONE something that day, even if I feel like I haven’t. Another great app, though I haven’t explored it much, is Noom Coach.

I HIGHLY recommend getting your body composition tested, too. (Also called BMI test for “body mass index.”) For starters, it tells you your muscle mass, water mass, fat mass, etc. It also tells you how many calories you burn just sitting there. I am at about 1600 calories burned during resting, so I am eating less than that amount a day, plus exercising. My walks usually burn about 100 calories, and my hikes from 600-800, depending on length of time & speed. Once you have this test done, you will see ON PAPER, where you need to improve.

Ten pounds in 3 weeks! February 24, 2014

I couldn’t believe today’s numbers! I’ve dropped ten pounds in 3 weeks. It hasn’t been easy, though. Last week, a few friends met me for my birthday ice cream, which I knew I wasn’t going to eat. Even though my birthday should be cause for everyone’s celebration, I didn’t want to sabotage all my hard-earned efforts.
I’ve been hiking a LOT. Yesterday, I took Dexter on a 2-mile walk around my neighborhood, then went on a 3-mile hike with my bestie Deb. In the past two days, I’ve hiked/walked almost 8 miles. Having a dog is a huge benefit, because I HAVE to get out of bed to walk him EVERY day. I truly believe dogs need to get out and explore the world and sniff and pee on everything. He’s inside with me so much (I work from home), that I would feel really guilty if I just let him run around the yard. Our morning walks aren’t more than 20 minutes, unless I know my day will get crazy and I won’t be able to hike. I’ve been scheduling my life around hiking, though, so that I don’t have an excuse. I even signed up to walk for the homeless this coming weekend, for some charity. I don’t remember the name, but I’m going. 😀

I use Pinterest a lot to find recipes. I had heard about a cauliflower-crust pizza and tried it. I knew it wasn’t going to BE pizza, but it was great to find that recipe and fool around with it. Each bath makes 4 pizzas, so I have one each day for 4 days. Do a search on Pinterest and you will find a bunch of recipes.

As a kid, our favorite lunch with my mom & grandma was a tuna sandwich, a handful of black olives, and a Pepsi. Well, I’m not eating bread right now (I’m not a big fan anyway), so I made tuna salad with the olives in it, and threw it on top of some mixed greens.

Recipe:
1 can tuna, water-packed
2 tsp mayo (Yes, you measure it out!)
8 black olives (that’s a serving, duh!)
salt & pepper
Mixed salad greens (the darker green, the better!)

Use HALF of the tuna salad mixture. That’s a serving. Don’t eat the whole damn thing, yo!

Cauliflower Crust Pizza February 22, 2014

I tried this last night. Yummy!

The Functional Foodie

Hey ya’ll! It is Friday, which I couldn’t be happier about. I feel like weekends are still magical even when I’m not in school. Funny story about last night though. I had a major panic attack at 11 pm last night and emailed my adviser at school about 4 times. When I transferred back from Boston, I had to get approval for all of these hours since Texas is weird and requires all of these dumb credits (like Texas History – will not use that class ever), so I needed to make sure that I was still under the minimum hours of transfer credit allowed. However I convinced myself that I had way too many transfer hours and that I wasn’t going to be able to graduate and go to grad school. Luckily my adviser told me I was crazy (no he didn’t, but I bet he was thinking I…

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Two weeks down, ten to go! February 18, 2014

Today marks two weeks of changing my eating habits. I don’t use the word “diet,” because people don’t even know what the fuck  diet means. To me, it’s what you eat. Period. But to the rest of the world, it’s got such a negative connotation, so I don’t use it. “Oh, you’re on a diet?” Of course I’m ON A DIET, because I’M EATING. Duh.

So, I’m down a total of 8 pounds in two weeks. I’ve lost over 2 inches off my waist. All of my pants fit like they’re supposed to. Oh, and it was 85 yesterday and I put on a pair of my favorite shorts. They fit WAY better than they did 2 months ago.

Here are a couple more tips to follow. I do these, they work.

1. Drink a ton of water. WATER. Put some lime in it if you don’t like the flavor. How anyone doesn’t like water is beyond me. It also makes you look better.
2. Eat every 3 hours. The way I gained weight was by NOT EATING OFTEN ENOUGH. You HAVE to feed your metabolism in order to keep it moving. This doesn’t mean a whole 4-course meal every three hours. This means a half a can of tuna with 1 tsp mayo and eating it with carrot sticks. Protein and carbs (VEGGIES ARE CARBS!) should be eaten together. Or, just have a hard-boiled egg. I am eating 1300 calories a day, and I eat 5 times a day.
3. Learn what a fucking carb is. Seriously. Pasta is a “carb,” but so is a green pepper. Learn the difference. Basically, the more a food goes through processing, the worse it is for you to eat.
4. Read the fucking ingredients already! Geesh. Why is this one so hard for people to do? Don’t they care about what goes into their bodies?

We just marked 11 years since we lost my dad. You would think it gets easier, but it hit me this morning, and my day started with tears. He was only 57 when he died, which is far too young.

It’s because he was 57 that I take such good care of myself. We are only born with one body. Sure, there are medical solutions, but they can’t always fix a problem. And why not just be good to yourself so that things DON’T get that badly? Why not actually pay attention to what you eat, and where it comes from? I, for one, want to feel good every day. Every. Damn. Day.

There is only one person that is with you from the moment that you are born, until the moment you die: YOU. Take care of YOU, so that those around you can enjoy you for a long time.

And last, but certainly not least, a recipe:

Breakfast Bowl

 

I cook my black beans from scratch in my Crock Pot. I never buy canned beans, because I don’t know what’s in them. I don’t know how long they’ve been in that can, absorbing metal and whatever the fuck else is in there.

Ingredients:
Black beans
roasted Brussels sprouts (I made a whole pan, and just used the leftovers for a few days for my bowls.)
Sauteed mushrooms, zucchini, and yellow squash
FRESHLY GRATED parmesan cheese. Don’t buy that shit that’s already grated. It has additives and doesn’t even fucking taste like parmesan cheese. It takes one minute to grate it yourself. You’re worth it, and so is a great dish.
2 eggs
salt & pepper, and hot sauce, for garnish

You’re basically just building these bowls and piling everything on. Start with the beans, then the veggies, then eggs. I like mine fried. I top it all with salt & pepper, and hot sauce. Sometimes I saute my vegetables with turmeric, too.

That’s it. Try it. You’ll love it!

 

 

Stop with the “I can’t” and excuses already. Cripes. February 12, 2014

When I was 7, my parents were splitting up. My father was an alcoholic. This was the mid-70s, and women did NOT get divorced, but my mom was strong enough to see that this was not going to be a good marriage, nor would it be good for my sister and I to live in such a toxic household. My father is gone now, but I still remember “the talk” he had with me when I was 8 or 9. He sat me down, and said to me, “Amy, there are two words I never want to hear you say. ‘I can’t.'” Now, I thought at first he meant that he couldn’t say it, that it was too terrible, but after a few seconds I realized he meant the phrase “I can’t.” I can still hear him saying it, and I’ve had it in my head my entire life.

About a month ago, my friend Alison posted on Facebook about “body positive” being bullshit, and it is. I know, you’re thinking “But positive thinking will help us reach our goals.” Blah, blah, blah. Keep up with THAT excuse, because you’re not DOING anything, you’re just THINKING. When you weigh 250 pounds, you’d better not fucking feel good about that. Not only are you fat, (yes, I said it!), but you’re unhealthy and you risk health problems. Serious health problems. Stop it already! Grow a fucking pair of balls, get off your ass, and pay attention to the shit you’re putting in your mouth.

That may sound crass, but I am honestly tired of the excuses. If I see “everything in moderation” one more goddamn time, I am going to stab my eyes out, but not before cutting the tongue out of the person who said it so they can never say that again. No, NOT everything in moderation. Not only is some shit terrible for you anyway (don’t get me started on microwave popcorn, or you will end up in a mental institute), but that’s just another excuse to eat/drink whateverthefuck you want. NOT everything in moderation because even diet pop is going to make you gain weight. “But it has zero calories!” Right. Zero calories makes it healthy??? Since when? Because it DOESN’T have sugar, diet pop makes you CRAVE sugar. I know, it doesn’t fucking make any sense, but that’s the way it is.

I just took a deep breath because I’m pissed off and I want to share a couple tips with you:

1. Throw out your microwave. If you are overweight, you are most likely eating a lot of processed foods. All those pre-packaged foods by Weight Watchers or Hot Pockets are terrible for you. I don’t give a shit who made it, frozen entrees won’t help you do ANYTHING. They. Are. Junk. Get rid of the microwave and lift up a goddamn knife and MAKE something. Sorry you’ll have to miss 15 minutes of CSI: Miami. You probably have a DVR anyway, so fucking pause it.

2. Two things that should never be ingested. Ever. Microwave popcorn and pop, whether it’s regular or diet. (You may say soda, but it’s pop. Deal with it.) The bags that the popcorn come in are coated in chemicals, which the fake heat (Again, this is my microwave oven rant/hatred) stimulates to coat your popcorn. GROSS. (You can Google that shit yourself, I’m not making this up!) And pop? What’s GOOD for you in pop? If you can give me FIVE things, I will let it slide. That goes for regular and diet.

3. If you have a dog, for fuck’s sake, take it for a walk! Just because you have a big backyard, your dog DESERVES to get out into the world. Dogs are social animals. They like to smell shit (literally and figuratively) and meet other dogs and people. Dogs need to KNOW your neighborhood in case they get out. They need to be familiar with their surroundings. Plus, IT GETS YOU OFF YOUR ASS. Put in some earbuds and find a great podcast to listen to. Plus, you’re at work all day. Doesn’t your dog, who provides you with unconditional live, deserve to go outside and see the world? Dexter is my world, and it’s my job to give him the best life possible. That’s what a walk does.

Stop making excuses. Hate yourself enough to motivate yourself. Get angry with your gut hanging over your pants. Go for a walk already, Fatty Fatty Two By Four.

 

Week 1: Down six pounds, and over an inch off my waist February 10, 2014

So, my chiropractor (Dr. Diane at Paragon) also does nutrition counseling. She mapped out what I should be eating every day, and I have followed it 99%. The only thing I did that isn’t on there is my morning coffee, which I drink black. Since I don’t add anything to it, she said she’d let it slide, since I have done so well this past week.

So, I lost six pounds in the past week, and I am actually eating more often than I was before. I also lost 1.25 inches off my waist. After the body composition test today, about half was water and half fat. Since I cut out everything process and am not eating anything with wheat gluten in it, I knew I would drop at least 5 pounds in the first week.

I also lost over an inch on my stomach, which I could have predicted after wearing jeans this past weekend. They fit a lot better!

So, I am eating lots of veggies, lots of eggs, fruit, nuts, meat, and some cheese. I still use olive oil to cook and make my own salad dressing. Each serving is about 1 tsp, and I haven’t had to use more than that.

Today’s breakfast is my favorite so far, so I’m going to give you the recipe. In fact, it was pretty divine.

Ingredients:

1 Portobello mushroom
1/4 each green and yellow pepper, sliced into strips
1/4 yellow onion
1 tbsp freshly grated parmesan cheese
2 eggs
turmeric, salt, and pepper

First, slice the portobello mushroom. I kept the slices a little thick. Add 1 tsp olive oil to a non-stick pan. Yes, I still use a little oil in a non-stick pan. Add the onions and peppers, and saute over medium heat. After 5 minutes, add the mushroom slices. Sprinkle vegetables with salt & pepper, and a dash of turmeric. I’ve read a lot about the health benefits of turmeric, so I put it on just about everything. When all vegetables are crisp-tender, remove to a salad-sized plate. Crack both eggs into the pan, and cook until the whites are done. I usually flip them over the last 30 seconds to make sure the whites are cooked. I love a runny yolk, but I like cooked whites. While they are cooking, grate up the parmesan cheese. I ALWAYS have a block on-hand, and never buy it already grated. For starters, it’s not fresh, but it also loses a lot of flavor. When it’s fresh, you will use less because you can actually taste it.

When the eggs are done to your liking, slide them on top of the veggies. Top with the parmesan. Poke yolks and enjoy!

I’m not used to self-loathing, but I definitely feel it today. February 4, 2014

I don’t often feel shitty about myself, because I’m such an optimist. I will always see the bright side of things. Yesterday, though, I didn’t see a bright side.

I eat very nutritiously. In fact, most people see what’s in my fridge and comment about how well I eat. I don’t even use a microwave, unless I’m somewhere where there is no other option. I hate microwaves. They’re mostly used for processed food, which I rarely eat. I’ve been going to a chiropractor for adjustments, acupuncture, some physical therapy-type things like foam rolling, and now weight management. I’ve been gaining weight for the past few months. A lot of it has to do with having a boyfriend who doesn’t cook and knows zilch about food and nutrition. His pantry is full of cups of mac & cheese to add water to and heat in a microwave. His kids are like kids, and picky about what they will eat. He feeds them what he knows they will eat. One of the things we DO share, with respect to food, is that we both have a sweet tooth. They always say that when you get married (we aren’t married, but we do spend a lot of time together), that you gain weight. People get comfy with their lifestyles and get lazy. Normally, on my own, I regulate desserts and do stuff to “deserve” them. An extra walk, more veggies the rest of the day, etc. Thankfully, my boyfriend wants to learn how to eat properly. I spend a lot of time thinking of ways to make healthy food more exciting to him.

I hike over 10 miles a week. Every damn week, I’m hiking. In fact, rarely does a day go by that I do not hike. I get more exercise than anyone else I know, except for those crazy people. But normally, I get more than an hour of cardio every single day. I do yoga a few times a week, from 30 to 75 minutes, depending on my schedule. And I weighed 191 yesterday.

That’s only 9 pounds from weighing 200 pounds. Me. Little, 5 foot-tall me, weighing close to 200 pounds. How the fuck did this happen??? Well, I don’t eat enough protein, apparently. I also don’t eat enough.

That’s right: You can gain weight by NOT EATING ENOUGH! I work from home, and you’d think that would be a huge food temptation, but it’s not. I often forget to eat until I am ravenous. I make fairly good choices. I eat hummus and veggies. Nuts. Salad. Quinoa. Beans. Eggs. I eat everything you are supposed to, but I don’t eat at the right times. My portions are obviously too big. I’m devastated. In 1995, most of my thyroid was removed because of a cyst. This also makes it harder to lose weight. It sucks.

I love myself. I really, truly do. I love the person I’ve become. I’m happy with my life and what I spend time on. I love owning my own business. I love living in Phoenix, so I can be outdoors just about every day. But this…this makes me loathe myself. I hate that I got this big. I have so much coming up in the next year that I want to look my best, which will make me feel my best. I certainly don’t want to go out and buy more clothes that will fit me. I make enough money to do so, but I feel like that will excuse what I’ve done to myself. I hate it. I HATE when people say “everything in moderation,” because that’s an excuse to poison your body. “Everything in moderation” is pretty much what got me here. There are a LOT of things you should never eat, like McDonald’s. Thankfully, I’m not a fast food junkie and moderating what I eat won’t be too much of a struggle. I’ve cried three times since leaving the chiropractor’s office. It’s the first time I’ve been unhappy with myself in a few years.

So, I’m on a better path. I’m drinking protein shakes during the day, which keeps my metabolism awake. My regular diet is really good, I just have to start paying attention to how much I eat. I’m not eating any damn donuts, that’s for sure!

I just have to stay focused on what will really benefit my body, and cut out the bullshit desserts and large portions. I don’t think it will be too hard, especially once I start to lose weight. That will be a GREAT motivator.