A long-lost love has died. Why is it affecting me so much? March 29, 2012

Winter. 1992. I had just moved back from California, where I went with my high school sweetheart. We broke up soon after moving back to Buffalo. I had just turned 21 and life was a blast!

The first guy I dated was Jeff Priamo. He was from the next town over. I met him at a club Downtown. It was either Ikon or The Continental. Maybe the Brick Bar. I just know we hit it off instantly and it was one of those short-lived relationships that was just so much fun that I think about it to this day.

The thing that drew my to him was his Jane’s Addiction tattoo. He had the “Nothing’s Shocking” girls from the cover tattooed on his right arm. I had been a batshit crazy Jane’s fan for a few years and felt I met my soulmate. To this day, I still think of him that way.

Everything about Jeff was fun! We partied a LOT but we also had some good conversations. We just kind of drifted apart and I met the guy I ended up marrying.

Thinking of him today, I sent a message to Monique, one of my best friends in high school and we’re still in touch. She did a search for him and it turns out that he died a little over a year ago.

I messaged a couple of his friends/family members on Facebook to get some details. I am hoping it’s not too tragic, because he was only 40. I have a bad feeling, though, that it was something bad.

I’m a wreck right now. I’ve cried for a half hour. Jane’s Addiction has always been my very favorite band, and a lot of that has to do with Jeff.

RIP, Jeff. I’ve never, ever stopped thinking about you. We were so cool together.

National Kidney Day & emotions running high! March 8, 2012

Cripes, it’s been over a year since I volunteered to donate my kidney. In 5 weeks, it will be a year since the surgery. You’d think everything would be dead & gone, moving on, etc.

Nope.

Woke up this morning to see so many other donors and families of donors posting on Facebook about National Kidney Day and I cried. Twice.

It’s been a roller coaster of a year. Mostly good, but there were some pretty deep lows, too. Losing my job, my uncle dying the day before the surgery, my cousin killing herself a month after. I had a lot to deal with at the time and couldn’t have gotten through it without my family and friends, especially Kirti.

It’s funny that we had only met once when I agreed to begin the testing. And once I started the process, there really wasn’t anyone I could talk to about it all, except for her. The medical terminology, the publicity, the surgery, etc. She super-educated herself on everything to help out TinyMom, but I think it helped me ever more.

We’re starting to plan the one-year Kidneyversary party. A venue is donating the facility. Bands volunteering to play. Chefs wanting to bring food. It’s overwhelming, the amount of love and support people are showing. Many of them, I had never met until a year ago, when the fundraisers started.

So, it will be a crying day. Fuck, I could use a giant hug.