Fabamy's Blog

Crazy life of a CenPho comedian & socialite

A long-lost love has died. Why is it affecting me so much? March 29, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — fabamy @ 6:33 pm

Winter. 1992. I had just moved back from California, where I went with my high school sweetheart. We broke up soon after moving back to Buffalo. I had just turned 21 and life was a blast!

The first guy I dated was Jeff Priamo. He was from the next town over. I met him at a club Downtown. It was either Ikon or The Continental. Maybe the Brick Bar. I just know we hit it off instantly and it was one of those short-lived relationships that was just so much fun that I think about it to this day.

The thing that drew my to him was his Jane’s Addiction tattoo. He had the “Nothing’s Shocking” girls from the cover tattooed on his right arm. I had been a batshit crazy Jane’s fan for a few years and felt I met my soulmate. To this day, I still think of him that way.

Everything about Jeff was fun! We partied a LOT but we also had some good conversations. We just kind of drifted apart and I met the guy I ended up marrying.

Thinking of him today, I sent a message to Monique, one of my best friends in high school and we’re still in touch. She did a search for him and it turns out that he died a little over a year ago.

I messaged a couple of his friends/family members on Facebook to get some details. I am hoping it’s not too tragic, because he was only 40. I have a bad feeling, though, that it was something bad.

I’m a wreck right now. I’ve cried for a half hour. Jane’s Addiction has always been my very favorite band, and a lot of that has to do with Jeff.

RIP, Jeff. I’ve never, ever stopped thinking about you. We were so cool together.


14 Responses to “A long-lost love has died. Why is it affecting me so much?”

  1. Deanna Figueroa Says:

    My first boyfriend died in 2001. It laid me out for a week. Your feelings are totally understandable. So sorry for your loss, honey.

  2. Maybe b/c true love… I mean TRUE love… is so very hard to find, and we don’t realize that when we’re young. Embrace the pain… that just means that it was real.

  3. My first “love” died when I was 22 & it totally threw me… What you are feeling is normal. I am sorry for your loss.

  4. T Says:

    I really, really feel for you. I am happily married and have two fab children and a wonderful husband – I hasten to add long after my relationship with my long lost love ended. I Googled my lost love two years ago and was so sad to see he had passed away at the age of 44 – three months before my search; by that time he was happily married with five children – good on him! I have grieved for the past two years because we didn’t leave on good terms and it pains me each day to know there was bad blood between us. It didn’t / doesn’t stop me loving him but I do recognise that if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t be where I am now. I suppose, what I am trying to say is we all have to move on.

    You did – as did your lost love.

    The only way I get through this is by thinking we all have a path to go along and we personally take the detours when they come along which brings us to where we are today. It doesn’t stop you caring or loving, it makes you the person you are. Please take some comfort in knowing that as you have posted this, there are other people all over the World (I am in Germany!) feeling the same way as you and maybe not as brave as you to express their feelings. xx

    • fabamy Says:

      Thank you so much for this! I still haven’t heard anything about what happened, and I almost don’t want to know.
      When I start dating someone really cool, I call him “My Jeff” in my head, because even though it was only for a few months, it was SO COOL!

  5. Megs1981 Says:

    My first love died 2 months ago. There is a whole in my heart that will only be replaced when I see him again one day.

  6. Dina Kucera Says:

    It’s sad. The thing is that we loose touch with people. Great friends and even family members. It’s a lesson, I guess, to try and send a little love to people, even if you haven’t seen them in a very long time. But you always have those beautiful memories that will make you smile. Whatever the reason for his passing you can still hold on to the amazing memories:) He sounds like he was an amzing person:) Giant hug:):)

  7. […] they played “Ocean Size,” I cried. I wrote a blog about this song a couple months ago (https://fabamy.wordpress.com/2012/03/29/a-long-lost-love-has-died-why-is-it-affecting-me-so-much/) and was hoping with all my heart and soul that they’d play it. I thought of Jeff and how he […]

  8. So far, everyone I’ve dated (or married) has died, except for my current husband who treats me like a queen. Looking back, all the ones that died treated me very shitty. Karma? Maybe.

  9. Janet Says:

    I’m so sorry. Wishing you could go back, if only to change one thing that could change life’s direction… I’ve been there. My first love crashed head on into a tree a week before my 18th birthday, in 1980. I will never forget his voice, touch, scent, or dreams. My heart goes out to you. xoxo

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