Yeah fuck yeah! I quit my job!!!

I’ve been looking for a new job for 6 months.  I have a previous post about my job sucking my soul.  Well, I finally got a lead on one from a friend and spent two weeks interviewing, sending forms, etc. and finally got offered a position on Wednesday. I was planning on giving my notice Monday the 20th and work until Wednesday, take a long weekend before the new job starts on the 27th.  That is, until I went to work this past Thursday.

Well, Thursday sucked.  My boss’ boss was in town, interviewing for a vacancy.  We have a new guy who started about 3 weeks ago and both of them came down on him pretty hard, in front of everyone.  It was then that I realized I didn’t OWE them anything as far as working a few more days.  I’d been treated like crap by both of them all week, too, and it was all I could do to muster up the strength to go in there Friday.

I was going to quit.  I’ve been called a hero by some of my friends for this:

I walked into work and realized “Oh, shit.  It’s his birthday.”  What, you think I’m NOT gonna quit because it was his birthday?  That just made everything more awesome!  It gave what I was about to do an extra…punch.

We sang “Happy Birthday” to him around 9am.  My intention was to get him before he went to lunch.  I planned on going to lunch and, well, not going back to work.  I took my piece of his birthday cake to my desk and started laughing.  I sat in a cubby, where I couldn’t see anyone sitting next to me, we could barely hear each other.  It was like living 40 hours a week in a box.  We were Pavlov’s dogs.  I sat there, eating this piece of birthday cake and started laughing.  It was the kind of laugh where you kind of have to hold in, so as not to draw attention (lord help us for being human!) to myself.  I had tears running down my face and snot bubbling out of my nose.  I kept thinking of how hysterically hilarious it was that here I was, eating a piece of birthday cake, an hour before quitting my job.  I’m still laughing and it was 36 hours ago.

So, right before I knew he’d be headed to his birthday lunch (HAHAHAHA!!!) I went to his desk and asked “Do you have a minute?” and we went into one of the conference rooms.  Here’s how it went:

Me:  I hate to do this to you on your birthday, but I quit.

Assclown Troll:  When is your last day?

Me:  What time is it?

Assclown Troll: 11am

Me:  I’m not coming back from lunch.  I got a job offer I couldn’t refuse.

Assclown Troll:  Well, good.  We need to make room for some strong people to work here.

Me:  Whatever.

I went back to my desk and he asked if I needed a box for my stuff and walked out the door for his fucking birthday lunch.  I chatted with my co-workers for a bit.  Two started to cry.  The others thought I was joking.  I’d been there for 18 months and was a big part of my team.  Even if I didn’t get a lot of sales some weeks, I could always be counted on for advice and inspiration.  And a little bit of sunshine.

Hahahaha!  I quit my job.  After eating a piece of my boss’ birthday cake.  I rule.