Fabamy's Blog

Crazy life of a CenPho comedian & socialite

Ha. Dissing a dumbass January 8, 2012

Filed under: My crazy life — fabamy @ 11:42 pm
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So, there’s a guy I dated for a year or two, off and on, and he’s just a total flake. I haven’t heard from him in about 6 months, and I got a text from him the other night. He blew me off a few times, and I wasn’t physically or emotionally attached to him, so I figured I’d finally have a way to get him to leave me alone. I invited him over…but didn’t tell him I had moved. Here are the texts, in order, with “A” for me, and “D” for him. I have no changed ANYTHING of the texts, but did take out a few personal ones. I showed the thread to Jada and she’s still laughing, 3 days later. I never delete people from my phone, so I knew who it was, even though it started with “Who is this?” I love saying that. Hahaha.

D: Happy New Year, stranger.

A: Who is this?
D: This is Dwayne, I saw u last week on the road.

A: Me? Where?

D: I was going to the Biltmore. How have u been?

A: Fine, thanks.

D: I had been looking for ur number but could not get into my gmail account for some reason. How is Dexter

A: Doesn’t matter.

D: I would like to see u

A: Helllllllllll no. Definitely not interested.

D: How were your holiday’s?

A: Holidays. No apostrophe.

D: Did u just stay home or did u travel

A: Doesn’t matter. Please leave me alone. (Notice how I use punctuation?)

D; Why can’t we be friends? I was going through a lot before. It’s all over now

A: No, it’s ok. I have a lot of amazing friends.

D: Please allow me to be 1 Amy. I wi not let u down. (wi???) All I ask for is an opportunity in 2012.

A: Unfortunately, you’ve let me down WAY too many times already. I don’t have room for people like you in my life. Adios! (Right now, is when I think up my evil plan…)

D: I will now again, u shall see

D: I am going to prove u so wrong

A: Fine. Come by tonight.

D: What time?

A: Whenever, I’m home painting.

D: What all are u painting?

A: Walls.

D: What colors? They were light blue last time I was over upfront (No, they weren’t light blue, dumbass.)

A: You’ll see.

D: I sure will. Do u have any new movies?

A: No, sorry.

D: It’s ok, just seeing u will be food enough. Have u gotten any new Tats or piercings?

A: No.

D: O ok

D: I am excited & nervous to see u again (I HATE when people use ‘u’ instead of ‘you’!!!!!)

A: Just let me know when you’re on your way so I can clean up a little.

D: Will do. Please forgive the way I will look, I am going to the barber tomorrow

A: Fine.

D: I can be at ur place around 715

D: Have you eaten yet?

A: No, I haven’t.

D: Where do u like pizza from?

A: Wherever. (Can you feel my excitement???)

D: I will order 1

A: Fine.

D: Just got out of the shower

D: Just my house (Huh?)

A: K

D: *left (Uh, yeah, I assumed that.)

A: K

D: Do u need anything from the store

A: Nope

D: Ok, 5 mins away

D: I am here

D: So u moved?

A: Whoopsie. I moved.

D: Lol i noticed

D: Lol i noticed (Yes, sent twice)

A: Yup.

D: Are u still in Phoenix?

A: Of course!

D: O ok. Would u like to see me?

A: Don’t you think I would have given you my new address if I wanted to see you???

D: I deserved that but I am a totally different man now

A: Yeah, you said that exactly a year ago.

D: I truly mean it Amy! All I ask for is an opportunity

A: No, thanks. Have a great night!

D: Ok


Hahahaha! I still laugh every time I read these. I even emailed them to myself to keep, just in case something goes wrong with my phone. I haven’t heard from him since. Thankfully. He’s always been a little slow…






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