Fabamy's Blog

Crazy life of a CenPho comedian & socialite

So, yeah, I’m moving. November 9, 2011

Filed under: My crazy life — fabamy @ 4:24 pm

Everyone knows the story of my gaydrunkdeadlandlord. It was a crazy time here, but he lived on-property, so we could count on quality people living here. He didn’t want shitty neighbors. Well, neither do we. After he dies, the old landlord took over. He is old. About 70 or so, and lives in Mesa. He’s kept the place up on the outside, but has only gotten new carpet for new tenants. Those of us who have been here for years need new carpet desperately. There are holes in mine and it’s bad enough that I am afraid to shampoo it. The holes are so bad that you can see the mesh backing.

In the 18 months since the old guy took over, we’ve had a lot of sketchy people move on. One lady, Starr, was a taxicab prostitute. She would call a cab, either Discount or Sunshine, and give oral to the drivers on the parking lot. Thankfully, she never paid her rent in 3 months and was evicted for that.

Under me, last year, were two kids. 18 and 19 years old, with an 18-month old baby. They were drug dealers. Traffic came at all hours. They had loud parties and were growing weed in the closet. My neighbors next to them had to call the cops twice. They told the landlord that the lights in the closet were a “science experiment.” He believed them. We were eventually rude enough and called the cops enough that they eventually moved out. The child ended up getting taken away from the mother because of her multiple arrests for drugs and assault.

The neighbor next to me is away at boot camp. I was hoping it would grow him a pair of balls, but apparently not. He has rented a room to Skank #1. Now, keep in mind, I recently donated an organ. Though I am pretty much healed, I HAVE to get a full night of sleep, or I feel really shitty the next day. Before she even moved in, she tore out all the carpet in the apartment. She never asked my neighbor or the landlord if she could do this. She also painted his apartment. Without carpeting, my neighbors downstairs, Will and Jada (I’m not making their names up!) can hear every footstep. They can hear phones vibrating for calls and texts. They have a son, who is also kept up at night because of the noise. Skank #1 has had parties until 5am. It was loud enough one night that I had to call the police and my other neighbor was awakened. She lives at the other end of the building.

The landlord has gotten numerous complaints about Skank #1. He said if it got bad enough that the cops had to be called, that she would be evicted. Well, that never happened. She has spilled paint all over my patio. He gave her an ultimatum on getting the carpet replaced. She did one room, a month ago, and promises every week that the rest will be done. This has been going on for 6 weeks. She also has a girl living there and as of last week, a guy. She claims the guy is her brother and he is here to protect her because we are all threatening her. I simply ignore her. I doubt I am a threatening person.

I’ve had drunk people screaming and falling down outside my window at 4am. I’m 40. This is not a college dormitory. I had patio chairs on her patio, that I let Steve have when he first moved in. They are antiques and I ended up putting them in the storage shed. I didn’t want them ruined and it has discouraged them from hanging out on the patio.

The noise continues without any car from the landlord. I’ve had it. Will & Jada have had it. None of us have had a full night of sleep in 10 weeks because of Skank #1.

So, I’m moving. So are Will and Jada. In fact, we found a building today that has two apartments for rent in a really awesome neighborhood not too far from here. We will still be neighbors.

I’ve cried over this the past 24 hours. Everyone knows how much I love living here. But when I can’t sleep or be comfortable in the place I’ve been in for over 2 years, with zero support from the landlord, it’s time to move. I planned on staying for a couple more years, until I could buy something. I can’t take it anymore and just need to go.

Even if he evicted her, she has 30 days to move. But, there will always be another one to take her place. His lack of care will lose him really good tenants, who care about community. It sucks, but I have to do it for my own health & sanity.




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