Fabamy's Blog

Crazy life of a CenPho comedian & socialite

Uh, yeah, I take responsibility – enough to try to change March 30, 2011

Filed under: My crazy life — fabamy @ 9:42 pm
Tags: , , ,

Going through all the tests to donate my kidney has been brutal. I know people see me with a smile on my face & always being positive, but that’s in public. The testing was BRUTAL. I spent 10 hours in the hospital on Valentine’s Day. My 40th birthday was spent on the phone with Mayo, scheduling more tests. I have a mammogram done, which showed a lump. I had to wait a week before I could get in to have another one done, just to make sure I was ok. I spent a week worrying about breast cancer. I’ve cried more in the past 2 months than I have in two years. Alone.

To think that people assume I am doing all of this for publicity – for myself – is more than ignorant. I cannot believe the things people are saying about ME. I go home from work everyday, exhausted from the mental stress and anguish over when I’m going through. For over two months now, I looked at my job as a retreat from everything – but it kept following me. Something this huge (And, yes, it IS huge) is hard to put out of my mind. I missed a lot of work and was distracted much of the time.

The funny thing is, the job I was doing wasn’t even what I wanted to do. But, I was told during my interview that the company was growing & there would be a lot of opportunities in the near future. I was encouraged to take the job because of what the future would hold. So, I learned, I worked, I took feedback and tried my best to do well. Sometimes, things aren’t a fit, so I spoke up a few weeks ago and went to our recruiter. People were being hired from outside the company for the positions I really wanted to do, but nothing was ever posted. I never applied for anything else because I didn’t know about them. I did what I thought I should and took initiative. I am not the type of person to just sit back and think I will be noticed and picked out of a crowd without some sort of signal. You will never get anywhere in this world by sitting back and waiting. I was extremely frustrated, to be honest.

My distraction, time out and frustration of trying to do what I wasn’t best at caused me to fail for 2 months. I failed. I am not used to failing. It’s not a word I use OR take lightly. But, I tried to do better and show that I was eager to try new thing.

Never have I NOT taken responsibility for my actions. I say this because I read what people are saying about me. Their ignorance of the true story and FACTS mars my reputation and skirts the TRUTH.

There has been a lot of publicity, especially since I was fired yesterday, but it hasn’t been done or said by me. I cannot control what others say, but I will not be the person to cause a scene. Was it a bad play on their part with everything going on to fire me instead of try to find that niche for an employee who obviously loved the company? Hell yeah. Have I personally raised a stink about it? Not yet.

I feel that I hadn’t gotten much support from the company, besides fellow employees and a couple managers. Not once was I asked if I was doing ok. Fine, it’s a business.  But, that business is run by…people.

I am disappointed in myself for not saying something sooner about wanting to change departments. I wanted to be appreciated for who I was and what I could truly bring.

What everyone else says is their business. Nowhere have I bashed anyone or the company I worked for. Nowhere have I placed any blame on anyone else but myself.

So, as you read this, and know that I’ve remained completely professional from the day I volunteered to donate my kidney to a friend’s mom until 30 seconds ago while writing this. So, as you spew your opinions without even ASKING about the truth, you make yourself look like a jackass.

I’ve met some great people face-to-face, finally, the past several weeks. I’ve also learned that the word “friend” sorely needs to be redefined.

Advertisements
 

9 Responses to “Uh, yeah, I take responsibility – enough to try to change”

  1. […] When I had to have surgery to remove a pilonidal cyst a few years ago, I took two separate leaves of almost five weeks apiece from Pearson Education. They, and I’m very grateful to them for this, paid for all my surgeries and 75% of my salary while I was on leave. While my case was a little bit different than Amy’s, I can’t imagine why a company would let someone go who willingly risked their life to save another’s. Seems they should be given an award for such. […]

  2. Indra Geerts Says:

    Amy, I am a soldier who volunteered for the Army at 35 years old, and has been to Afghanistan in 09, 10, and 11, and who has been blown up, shot at, am writing this from Afghanistan, and have spent 19 of the last 27 months away from my wife and children while I was deployed to a combat zone. You are still my hero for this.

  3. I completely understand the needing to redefine “friend.” I have done that within the past year. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your job but truly admire what you are doing to help another person. I will be praying that you are quickly hired somewhere else where your full potential will be realized.

  4. Rolf Says:

    Hi Amy, It seems like things are always blown out of proportion because reporting bad news usually gets more attention than reporting the good news, let alone the truth. See my comments here http://www.valleyprblog.com/hype/donate-a-kidney-save-a-life-get-fired/

    It gets blown out of proportion. Judging from your latest blog entry, communication between you and your employer weren’t all that good, so the kidney story isn’t the complete reason why you had to part ways. Which was my immediate thought when reading the “get fired” sensation headline.

    I’ve seen processes like this and people don’t “just get fired”. There’s always a bigger story. But enough of the whole employer thing.

    I’m sure this publicity will make sure that you’ll find a new employer pretty soon, one that fits your character and skills, where communication will be better, changing fail into WIN. If not the publicity, the Karma gotten from donating a kidney surely must mean something, somewhere.

    All the best, wishing you a speedy recovery. You’re a much bigger woman than most of the critics out there.

    Cheers!
    Rolf

    p.s. I found this Theodore Roosevelt quote you might like:

    “It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”

  5. Sparrow Says:

    YOU are a ‘WINNER’ lady! Much respect for you.

  6. Sanjeev T Says:

    Amy, Sorry to hear about ur job! Do not giveup, there is something better waiting for you around the corner. you will always be a hero in our eyes. Keep on smiling!

  7. Perri Collins Says:

    Amy, that totally sucks. You call me if you need something!!! I will keep my ears on the grapevine and email you any jobs I come across. The whole situation is rotten, but being the amazing person you are, I know you will come out of it stronger, wiser and awesomer than ever.

  8. riasharma Says:

    Hello Amy

    really tocuhed by your efforts. You are much greater soul than most of us. Dont get mired in average joe’s emotions. If you have lost your job, it indeed may be your life’s signal to focus on what you love most.. You will be just fab at it. Take my word!!!
    And I am really touched by your great gesture, Not many have guts to do that.

  9. […] When I had to have surgery to remove a pilonidal cyst a few years ago, I took two separate leaves of almost five weeks apiece from Pearson Education. They, and I’m very grateful to them for this, paid for all my surgeries and 75% of my salary while I was on leave. While my case was a little bit different than Amy’s, I can’t imagine why a company would let someone go who willingly risked their life to save another’s. Seems they should be given an award for such. […]


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s