Fabamy's Blog

Crazy life of a CenPho comedian & socialite

Ya gotta love that spam email! December 23, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — fabamy @ 2:27 am

So, as I am getting ready for my gig tonight, I got this email:

“Estela Rumble

to me

show details 6:35 PM (47 minutes ago)

Currently there are 2 positions availiable. Please respond along with your resume if you’re still interested.”

 

I replied with this:

“I have no idea what you’re talking about or who you are.”

Not five minutes later, here is the response that I got:

Bruce

to me

show details 7:18 PM (5 minutes ago)
Hey, thanks for responding to us.

In case the posting was not clear, the responsibilities of this position are as follows: you’ll be answering the phone and taking messages whenever applicable, you’ll be scheduling the company meetings, and running errands for the company for things such as purchasing supplies and making bank deposits (you’ll be provided with a business car). While you are running errands, you will also be given 1 of our business credit card(s) for all company purchases.

You seem definitely qualified for our job opening, and more so than the other four applicants we received applications from. I would like to take the next step with you. However, before I’m able to schedule a formal meeting, my business will require that you acquire a current (past 14-21 company days) credit report. We started this simply because our business had some bad incidents with prior employees taking advantage of having access to a business credit card.

Both myself and the business will prefer it that you use this Credit Report to acquire your check as their scores usually report back the most factual and accurate information.

Once you submit all of the required information, they’ll show your personal report. Then, you require to email me the reported credit score, a phone number that you can be effortlessly reached, and your availability schedule to arrange an interview.

I ask you to not email me the whole report, as it’ll have private content. If you possess a lower than expected credit score, it’ll never stop you from a position with us. I had a fairly low score whenever I was hired.

If you do not wish to complete a current credit check, unfortunately the company will require that I contact the second choice.

Personally, I’m hoping to fill this position with a new friendly face and am looking forward to your fast response.

Have a great day,

Kind Regards,
Bruce Zalio
Senior Managerment”

Who the fuck are these people???  I have no applied for a job, especially with a freaking yahoo address.  What kills me is the fact that they are asking for a credit report.  FOR A JOB.  I’ll take a piss test and don’t mind a background check, but a CREDIT REPORT???  What kind of idiots fall for this shit?
Running errands?  Do I look like an errand girl, based on my resume???
And I love this part:  “I had a fairly low score whenever I was hired.”
Um…you don’t know when you were hired?
I’m guessing it’s a fucking Nigerian.
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