Fabamy's Blog

Crazy life of a CenPho comedian & socialite

Some dating advice…for the boys… November 30, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — fabamy @ 4:51 pm

“Since when was it such a hassle for a guy to actually ask a girl out?”  This is something I hear from my single girlfriends all the time.  It happens to me once in awhile, too.

If your’e interested in someone, you ask them out.  It doesn’t matter if it’s for coffee, dinner, lunch, whatever.  I get the guys who, the first time meeting, want to come over to watch a movie.  Or invite me to their place.  Um, I’m not going to your house.  You’re not coming to mine unless I know you.  I know what “watch a movie” means.  Not falling for it.

I have gone out with some awesome guys.  Just the fact that there’s some effort involved speaks volumes.  I’m not asking for anything fancy – most girls aren’t, especially on a first, second or tenth date.  Just some effort.

I had an amazing time just a couple weeks ago, and we just went to the Irish pub in the neighborhood and had fun for a couple hours.  This is the way dating is supposed to be, until you’re actually in a relationship.

Now, I can hear some of the guys reading this, saying “But they’re just using me for a free meal.”  Excuse me?  A free meal?  Taking time out of a busy day isn’t using you.  Is it so much to ask for you to spend $30??  Do you not HAVE $30???  If not, then you’re probably not datable anyway.  If you’re not willing to take someone out, spend a little bit of cash, then you’re probably not going to make it to the “watch a movie” date.  Plain and simple.

So, boys, before you go complaining about how we women are only out for your cash, your $30-dinner isn’t going to make or break our daily eating.  We won’t starve if you don’t take us to dinner.  What it WILL do, though, is show us that you actually want to do something other than “watch a movie” and maybe even start a relationship.

Actions speak louder than words.

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4 Responses to “Some dating advice…for the boys…”

  1. Wayne Says:

    You know, I used to believe this in all circumstances, but now I think that internet dating is a different animal. Here is an example:

    Say I meet a woman “old school” out at happy hour, or a BBQ or someplace where we had the chance to meet in person and have a conversation. If I ask her out, I have no problem getting the tab because I am the one asking AND I am asking based upon having met her and talked with her and deciding I want to see her on a “date”. Fair enough; I’m in. I may even have decided to buy her a drink at that happy hour but that decision was made AFTER I met her and spoke to her. And I was not OBLIGATED to do so.

    Now move to internet dating, where BOTH the man and the woman are out there trying to meet someone. Say I have a few emails with someone and we decide to get together in person; is this really a “first date”? I consider it more a “first meeting” much like we WOULD have had at that happy hour or BBQ but the online situation takes that away.

    So about this: the first time we meet in person, we pay our own way and then if I ask you out on a date after having met you then certainly I will pick up the tab. Isn’t that closer to what dating used to be? Hell, I miss the days of a first date consisting of picking someone up at their HOUSE, going out on a DATE and then dropping them back off at their DOOR with a cute but “high-school-awkward-do-I-go-in-for-the-kiss?” goodbye at their front door. Corny, but that’s me.

    Back to online dating: anyone who has dated online knows that people often misrepresent themselves; as a guy, it is a little off-putting to have to pick up the tab (in addition to wasting my time) over and over for women I never would have asked out had I first met them the old-fashioned way. It adds up; trust me as someone on the other side of the equation. So my “first meeting” is generally getting a cup of coffee or a quick drink; that saves me time AND money if I find we have nothing common, which is often the case, and I don’t think there is anything wrong with that option either.

    IMPORTANT: Now all that being said, any guy who wants you to just “come over” on a FIRST MEETING is likely a douchebag. Case closed.

    • fabamy Says:

      Yeah, I actually miss the days when I would get picked up at my place and actually go out on a date. It’s so funny how things have changed!
      I guess I never looked at it as a “first meeting” vs “first date” and it makes total sense.

      IMPORTANT: I would never go to someone’s house on a first meeting. EVER. Too many freaks out there.

  2. Scott Jones Says:

    So should the girl pay on the first date if she’s the one that asks the guy out? Why has so much else changed about dating but “the guy buys” remains?


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