Fabamy's Blog

Crazy life of a CenPho comedian & socialite

I cried a little today. October 26, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — fabamy @ 3:40 am

I’ve been a wall for a few years.  In relationships with men, I haven’t been able to open up since my last break-up, which was almost 4 years ago.  I became hard because of the hurt and abuse I had been through.  I’m sure some of them could have worked out, but I couldn’t open up.  Until now.

When you meet someone and feel an instant attraction to them, rarely do you let anything get in the way.  I had met him 6 months ago and we went out once but I guess we just didn’t figure it was the right time.  We work together and wanted to keep it cool.  Then we got back in touch a couple months ago.  I’ve never been hit so hard by one person.  Not physically.  Well, I guess physically but not abusively.  Just…a feeling that felt physical but came from emotions.  I couldn’t wait for any tiny bit of contact.  He actually called.  I couldn’t wait to see him and just be next to him.  I craved it all day and night.  I finally *felt* something for someone.

There was a great lack of communication and it came to blows this past weekend.  I’m sad.  I’m heartbroken.  And I’m remembering why I don’t open up to people.  Because that’s the guy.  The one I wanted to be with for awhile.

 

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