I’ve been a wall for a few years. In relationships with men, I haven’t been able to open up since my last break-up, which was almost 4 years ago. I became hard because of the hurt and abuse I had been through. I’m sure some of them could have worked out, but I couldn’t open up. Until now.
When you meet someone and feel an instant attraction to them, rarely do you let anything get in the way. I had met him 6 months ago and we went out once but I guess we just didn’t figure it was the right time. We work together and wanted to keep it cool. Then we got back in touch a couple months ago. I’ve never been hit so hard by one person. Not physically. Well, I guess physically but not abusively. Just…a feeling that felt physical but came from emotions. I couldn’t wait for any tiny bit of contact. He actually called. I couldn’t wait to see him and just be next to him. I craved it all day and night. I finally *felt* something for someone.
There was a great lack of communication and it came to blows this past weekend. I’m sad. I’m heartbroken. And I’m remembering why I don’t open up to people. Because that’s the guy. The one I wanted to be with for awhile.