I got up a half hour earlier than usually this morning to walk Dexter. It’s been getting hotter as the week progresses and the nights aren’t as cool. 6am. 92 fucking degrees and humid as hell. Monsoon season. I fucking hate it. It feels like murder outside.
I don’t want to be here at work today. My boss is out of town until Monday and I know I won’t accomplish much. I want to be home, in my cool apartment, down at the pool reading a book. Anywhere but here.
It’s been a pretty bizarre week and I had a few crazy experiences, so I’m glad it’s almost over. This is going to be one of those weekends when I just hibernate. Supposed to go to the Improv tonight or tomorrow night, but that will be all I do, if I even go. I have a lot of shit to meditate on. My career, my comedy, the boys in my life.
I need to make a few serious changes and it will hurt others more than me, but I’m don’t want to feel obligated about everything. I’ve stopped doing it for the most part, but there’s that last tie I need to cut. He’ll wonder why, and I have to try to find a way to explain without killing his ego. Well, I really don’t care about killing his ego. Maybe that’s what he needs. Because, seriously, he sucks at everything. That’s not me just being a bitch. I’ll support people to the end of the world, but I also think people need to know if what they’re doing is completely horrible that they need to stop. Not everyone belongs onstage. I’m no expert, but I’ve been doing this for so long and seen so many people that should just quit, but they don’t.
It’s ok to have a dream, but when it’s a nightmare for everyone else to see, it’s time to re-think your goals. And get off the fucking stage.